A MAGA televangelist who told his congregants to give him all their money because the rapture would happen today has reportedly disappeared with all the cash.
Large numbers of atheists in several cities are holding impromptu tailgating parties in the parking lots of giant churches to celebrate either their raptured disappearance or their gullibility always getting duped by grifting charlatans.
Kash Patel claims the Epstein Files were raptured up to Heaven on Tuesday and now he can’t release them anymore.
The only person raptured to Heaven on Tuesday was Eric Trump.
The United Nations reportedly removed all Diet Cokes from the vending machines to screw with Trump.
Trump is reportedly threatening Republicans that if the Epstein files are released he’ll reveal all the GOP’s closeted gays.
Melania Trump reportedly charged Trump an extra $1,000 per second in appearance fees for the time she was stuck on the escalator with him.
Trump is reportedly threatening that, if Democrats let the government shut down, he’ll fire everyone who handles the Epstein Files and steal them.
Dadaist graffiti news. Halfway true comedy and satire by Dash MacIntyre. I don't report the facts, I improve them. Comedy is cathartic in fascist eras like ours
