The following are Donald Trump’s personal notes for his potential vice president candidates:
Tech bro Vivek Ramaswamy
Pros:
Creepily intense like Stephen Miller, with a fresh new take on the Nazi kind of vibe — he kind of seems, like Miller, that he has killed someone before
He really hates the FBI, and most of the rest of the government — he’ll definitely help me pull off another January 6th unlike pussy Mike Pence… if Vivek doesn’t have his people try to hang me before my people can get him!
He never attacked me in the primary, so he can be extremely loyal — but does he kind of reek of opportunism? That’s a major ick!
He’ll undercut the Democratic argument that I’m racist, and give me cover for all my dog-whistling
Cons:
He’s an immigrant from a brown country (and one of the shithole-ier ones)
Too ambitious? (Would he kill me to take my spot as president? Maybe I should have the Proud Boys preemptively hang him sometime in the first year of the term — then replace him with Ivanka! And bring sex-appeal back in the White House *REMINDER: institute casual Fridays at the White House in the next term so Ivanka and all the other ladies…
Dadaist graffiti news. Halfway true comedy and satire by Dash MacIntyre. I don't report the facts, I improve them. Comedy is cathartic in fascist eras like ours
